What Makes You Special?
I am tri-lingual; I know American Sign Language and Russian. I am going to college and my major is Communications. I've changed schools 7 times my entire life. I have two older siblings and a younger half-brother. My parents are divorced. I'm 5'2 and 140 pounds. Etc. This is me on the surface.
I am tri lingual, but I've struggled balancing three cultures all my life. Russian, American, and Deaf culture continuously clashed around me as I tried to make sense of it all. Trying to include my mom, while I also felt excluded in my family as I struggled to learn a language to communicate with people that I loved, but I never really felt connected with.
The future scares me, but I know I want my life to be full of, and always about, stories. My major in communications is because I believe in the power of stories and facts to combine to make change. Whether I change my major or not, that will not change.
Every time I've changed schools I hated it...until I made friends and loved it. It taught me to be scared of connection, but still be desperate enough to be willing to try every time. Which says something about human nature I think.
My siblings, all of them, have made me who I am. My sisters were the reason I survived my childhood the way I did. At times I hated them, but I always loved them, and we will always understand each other on a level no one else will. My half-brother, who I consider my full brother, reminds me to stay young and to always love people. I want to always love, protect, and make sure he has a better childhood than I did. I believe we should feel that way towards all children.
I may not have always had the perfect body image, and at times felt disgusting in regards to my weight, but I've learned to love my body and to learn to not be afraid of confidence. I still struggle at times, but learning to fight the snickers and snide remarks towards "the fat girl" have taught me to be tough and to still fight.
My parents may be divorced, but I love them. Most importantly, I love them separately. I've seen many families destroy themselves in order to keep an image of what a family should look like. In my opinion, teaching your children to regard their happiness and well-being as important is the most important lesson.
Etc.: I love puzzles and things I can't understand. I've dreamt in other languages that I don't understand. I'm sensitive, but to me that just means I'm aware of mine, and others' emotions. I like deep conversations that last till 3 a.m. that make you rethink everything. I am passionate about the people and things I care about. I struggle with anxiety, but I am not afraid of my anxiety anymore. People have walked all over me and I have had to learn the word no till I shouted it. I still find beauty in others and hope in the world, because of, and despite, all that I am.
So now, readers, I ask you: What Makes You Special?
**I am asking everyone who reads this to offer some information up about themselves. An inside look at who we all truly are. After doing so many ice breakers in the past month, it had me wondering what were behind the words that others, and even myself, have said. Feel free to leave as much, or as little as possible. It is to remind each other that we are all human. As George Orwell once said, "The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection."**
I am tri lingual, but I've struggled balancing three cultures all my life. Russian, American, and Deaf culture continuously clashed around me as I tried to make sense of it all. Trying to include my mom, while I also felt excluded in my family as I struggled to learn a language to communicate with people that I loved, but I never really felt connected with.
The future scares me, but I know I want my life to be full of, and always about, stories. My major in communications is because I believe in the power of stories and facts to combine to make change. Whether I change my major or not, that will not change.
Every time I've changed schools I hated it...until I made friends and loved it. It taught me to be scared of connection, but still be desperate enough to be willing to try every time. Which says something about human nature I think.
My siblings, all of them, have made me who I am. My sisters were the reason I survived my childhood the way I did. At times I hated them, but I always loved them, and we will always understand each other on a level no one else will. My half-brother, who I consider my full brother, reminds me to stay young and to always love people. I want to always love, protect, and make sure he has a better childhood than I did. I believe we should feel that way towards all children.
I may not have always had the perfect body image, and at times felt disgusting in regards to my weight, but I've learned to love my body and to learn to not be afraid of confidence. I still struggle at times, but learning to fight the snickers and snide remarks towards "the fat girl" have taught me to be tough and to still fight.
My parents may be divorced, but I love them. Most importantly, I love them separately. I've seen many families destroy themselves in order to keep an image of what a family should look like. In my opinion, teaching your children to regard their happiness and well-being as important is the most important lesson.
Etc.: I love puzzles and things I can't understand. I've dreamt in other languages that I don't understand. I'm sensitive, but to me that just means I'm aware of mine, and others' emotions. I like deep conversations that last till 3 a.m. that make you rethink everything. I am passionate about the people and things I care about. I struggle with anxiety, but I am not afraid of my anxiety anymore. People have walked all over me and I have had to learn the word no till I shouted it. I still find beauty in others and hope in the world, because of, and despite, all that I am.
So now, readers, I ask you: What Makes You Special?
**I am asking everyone who reads this to offer some information up about themselves. An inside look at who we all truly are. After doing so many ice breakers in the past month, it had me wondering what were behind the words that others, and even myself, have said. Feel free to leave as much, or as little as possible. It is to remind each other that we are all human. As George Orwell once said, "The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection."**
I've always dreaded school because of the stress, anxiety, and depression it had brought me. But even through the downs I've had the best experiences of my life, found the realest people, and had many oppuritunities become available because of it.
ReplyDeleteMy biggest fear is that I'll lose my closest friends because of distance. And im now learning that it's ok because no matter how far apart we grow, they will always be there for me when i need them and that they have made me a better, emotionally healthier person. And for that I'm forever greatful.
I have many family issues that would take too long to talk about but if there is one thing to be learned from my struggles is that family isn't always blood. People who want to be there for you at your worst are your family.
I will always have body insecurities; I've lived like this since i was very little. But i don't let this insecurities control me anymore. There's more to me than my body.
I don't think I'll ever say these things as an icebreaker for someone i just meant but it proves that there's more to someone then what you first see.
Yes, I definitely agree with that. Thanks for sharing, it's not always easy
DeleteI love drawing. I work 4 or 5 days a week and dropped out of school. I love animals, I have a lot of them. I'm a gamer too. World of warcraft is my favorite. I like to draw my own characters for it. I have a bunch... I have anxiety, depression, and insomnia. I dont like light. I read a lot. I dont know what else to say..
DeleteI think that's really cool and that you're really strong for fighting all of those issues. I'm sure you're very talented ❤ Thanks for sharing.
DeletePeople when they look at me think I have the perfect life with a perfect family, perfect financial standing, and just a perfect life. That’s not all true though and sometimes I hate when people just assume without rlly knowing. My parents are divoreced I’m not as close to my dad anymore and I never see any of my step siblings besides one. I struggle with school sometimes and I don’t have the perfect work ethic. I’m not gonna say my life is rough though either I’m comfortable financially but I’m not rich. Not by a long shot. I love my family but the only side I rlly see is my moms side. Because that’s the only side I’m really close with. But a bit about me, I love to read fiction novels and I rlly want to get into playing the acoustic guitar. I took lessons before and really loved doing it but we couldn’t afford to keep paying for the lessons when my mom signed up for college. I’m rlly happy where I am now though I made my closest friends in senior year of high school and I love them to death and am so grateful to have them in my life ❤️.
ReplyDeleteAw, I loved reading this so much😢❤ You are so strong, good luck with your goal to play the guitar, and thank you for sharing.
DeleteAs you will all come to soon realize I have the ability to overthink, overprocess, as well as over-articulate just about any and every task whether it's self-assigned or not. Statistically, I should be dead or in prison. I get a kick of of disproving stereotypes, so despite how uncharismatic I seem, i become a ball of sensitivity and delicateness the moment you sit down and get to know me. Whether my upbringing was good or bad I can't tell, but it sure as hell left an impression on me. Some call it trauma, I call it character. "Congratulations! You won two neurological disorders that are incurable". That is the letter i received at birth. A destiny of being misunderstood by everyone pairs naturally with teenage angst at least. Most people think I don't feel at all, or when i do I'm a maniac extremist. I simply feel differently than everyone else. Imagine every bond you have with a person, put each person in their own little box. And you can only pick one emotion for each box, no duplicates. No overlaps. That's what Asperger's is like, it's calculated and specific. It comes with a bonus though. As a trade off for social ineptitude, I've never faced any challenge academically that i couldn't figure out eventually. Not be be arrogant but, that sounds pretty damn special to me. But that's not all of it. I react to my environment heavily. And as such, without my closest friends i wouldn't have the ability to control or understand any of these differences about myself. They break the rules of my disorder. they are the part of me I'm most proud of.
ReplyDeleteI respect that a lot, and you definitely seem to still fight through it all. So, thank you for sharing❤.
DeleteI've always struggled with the fact that I felt like I never really belonged. I would always hide under the fact that I was an athlete because that is what all my other friends were. I struggled with the fact that school never came easy to me. I get so angry at myself because I do not understand the simple questions. I get bullied and made fun of because I have dyslexia. The list goes on and on.
DeleteI am always shocked about how people can treat other people with so much disrespect. It blows my mind that some people can be so down right rude. I don't know if it is because my parents raised me the "old fashion" way or not, but I believe that if it is someone that you truly care about, they deserve to know that.
Going to college has probably been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don't know if it is because I spent my whole childhood up here, or its because I have my family up here. But, there is just something about this place that puts my racing mind at ease.
I am at my happiest when I'm doing photography. I feel like I'm actually me when I have a camera in my hand, I feel like nothing is impossible. I love just sitting in the living room with my whole family and listening to them tell me stories about their childhood, I love hearing about how things were like when they were a child. I want to travel and experience everything the world has to offer. I'm just this goofball of a person who is trying to navigate their way through life just like everyone else.
from the movie Perks of Being a Wallflower.
"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite." -Charlie
I'm sorry people have been so rude and ignorant to you, but you are stronger than you think. Thank you for sharing❤
DeleteI’ve been a perfectionist my whole life, everyone has always had very high expectations for me. It’s been good in some ways, I have a good work ethic for the most part, and I’m determined to please, but it’s also caused me to be very stressed about my work. Receiving something even slightly below my standards destroys me. However, I’m trying to emerge from this mindset. Growing and learning is very important to me, so I’m trying to instill that ideal into my academics.
ReplyDeleteAnxiety is another one of my struggles, mixed with OCD tendencies, so throughout my childhood I struggled with something I didn’t fully understand. I spent several years battling with it every day, trying to work through my thoughts by myself. Finally, I’m at a place in my life where I can say that it doesn’t control me anymore. It will always be a part of me, by that doesn’t mean I have to be a part of it.
Although high school was stressful for me, I believe that’s where I grew the most. I found friends who truly cared for me as I did for them, and I found confidence and an outgoing nature that I didn’t realize existed.
Finally, I’m in college and I’m growing again. The year before my departure was torture, the idea of the unknown and making a huge decision chilled me to the bone. But now that I’m here, my fears are all but gone. I’ve met many people and made friends (something I feared I wouldn’t be able to do) and made a huge life decision already by myself, with complete confidence at that.
What I’m excited to do is to continue explore and learn, and most of all, live my life. To live my life, not so much in my mind anymore, but in the present. I want to breathe in the air of Rome, and to wander through the underground tunnels of Philadelphia. I want to make music. I want to draw. Ultimately, I want to be unstoppable.
I genuinely enjoyed reading this, so thank you for sharing. I definitely can relate to the anxieties you've felt, but I'm sorry people would expect so much from you. You are so strong, and I am glad that you're willing to change with life as it comes at you, which is the only way to live it. You are stronger, and wiser, than a lot of people give you credit for, and I'm sure you will accomplish great things with that attitude.
Delete