Bubbly

Blue eyes, brown hair,
A beautiful smile with one dimple on the right side,
The softest hands I've ever held,
Paired with one of the most unique and energetic souls I've seen in a while.

When I think of you,
All I can think is:
How did I get so lucky,
Fate crossed our paths?
When I think about us,
All I can think is the happiness I've felt.

The line comes as a surprise
To my usually anxious brain,
The line: I am happy.

I. Me. One person out of seven billion.
Am at this very moment:
Happy. Ecstatic. Giggly.
I'm not going to lie,
And act as if I'm not afraid,
Because I am.
Every single time I think of you, and us, and me,
I am afraid.

Fear is unavoidable in these situations.
What if you use me like everyone else?
What if I'm convincing myself to like you so I can feign happiness?
What if our relationship ends in flames and we both get scars we can't avoid?

But when I look at your face,
A different series of What If's? comes to mind:
What if I can actually just be happy?
No strings attached.
What if we fall madly in love with each other and I regret nothing?
What if I just enjoy this bliss I have right here, right now?

I'm not a blind optimist,
I realize emotions change,
Plans change,
People who fall in love
Get back up to reality.
And I know it could go either way.

But when I hear your laugh,
Or you give me that smirk,
Or when you send me hearts throughout the day,
Or when we stay up till two in the morning,
Hanging onto each word
Said over the phone in a drunken stupor,
Or whenever I think of something goofy you did,
And I can't help but crack a dumb grin on my face,
The phrase echoes in my mind:
I AM HAPPY.

And I know that regardless of what happens,
It is worth this happiness.